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  • Shelly Cofini

It’s Not What You Say, It’s What they hear…


It is time to take inventory of the tools and marketing concepts you are using and distinguish those that will equip you to be successful in any marketplace. For clients today most often it’s not what you say, it’s what they hear. So many industries and marketplaces are in transition and often times our clients are trying to capture as much as they can for as little money possible.

So how do we ensure that our clients are hearing what it is that we are saying? It all starts by listening. How well do you listen? Listening for me is the most valued and also the most underrated sales skill. It is for s

ome folks a natural instinct and for others a skill that must be developed over time. The secret to listening, is to listen for what it is they are saying to you, and then listening past that. What is the context of what they are sharing? What is the tone in their voice? What is it they are not saying? How are they positioned, body posture or facial expressions? If you are talking to them over the phone, you really have to raise your awareness since you don’t have the physical cues to lead you to listening at a deeper level. So language becomes the key to unlock what it is they are trying to communicate and the means by which mutual understanding can be reached.

There are so many things that can get in the way of listening. Distractions can be very subtle and not so, things like emails, phones ringing, texting, familiar and unfamiliar sounds, and lastly the often listened to little voice or voices in your head. Heck with all that going on, no wonder people have a hard time communicating, let alone adding in emotion, judgements and stories we are stuck in. We as human beings are meaning making machines. We add meaning to everything, it is our nature at our core, it is how we make meaning of the world and develop our interpretation of it. It safe to say with all this going on, we are only present for seconds in a conversation at best.

Practice makes perfect here, getting centered, setting a clear positive intention to hear, to understand and then be understood. Recognize that we all are uniquely equipped and have the resources to resolve our listening issues as they arise and in the end we are all doing the very best we know how at the time. If you want to be heard, you also have to be willing to listen first and foremost.


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